A Conversation With Peter Zheng, A First-Generation Chinese American Story

Photo: Peter Zheng

By Xintong (Olivia) Wu

Born in New York City and raised in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, 23-year-old Peter Zheng is a first-generation Chinese American and the first in his family to attend University. He is the child of Yikeng Zheng, 53, and Xiu Zhen Ma, 51, who immigrated to the United States in the mid-1990s. His parents are the proud owners of two Chinese restaurants in Pittsburgh. Zheng has an additional brother, Shou Ming Zheng, 32, who was born in 1987 in China while Zheng was born in the United States when his mother immigrated to the country in 1994.

Mr. Zheng is highly accomplished. Currently a Columbia Arete fellow studying on an academic fellowship, he is a Master of Public Administration degree candidate. He is double majoring in Economic & Political Development and Urban & Social Policy while pursuing three different specializations: Management, East Asia, and Technology Studies.

Prior to enrolling at Columbia, he graduated Summa & Magna Cum Laude from the University of Pittsburgh Honors College, College of Business Administration, and Dietrich School of Arts and Sciences with quadruple majors in Economics, Political Science & Government, Business Administration, and a Bachelor of Philosophy (master's-level degree) in Psychology within four years where he received 31 accolades for his academic, research, and leadership achievements.

His story shows the hard work and ambition that is often seen in the children of immigrant to the United States. The following is a condensed and edited version of our current two-hour conversation:

Q: Why did your parents decide to move to the United States? What were their motivations at that time?

A: My family was living in a rural farmland in Changle District, Fuzhou City, China. It was very impoverished back then. Even when I went back to visit my grandma in China at age 13 or 14, I still saw her carrying a few dollars of yuan (local currency) in a small sack bundled in many rubber bands over and over again. She would use 10 rubber bands and would hide it underneath her underpants so nobody would steal it or so she wouldn't lose it.

My dad first left Changle for Japan to work for a year to save up some money to come to America with fake documents. He came by the traditional plane route and then, after working in NYC for another year, he saved up enough money to send back to my mom. She eventually would come over in a ship filled with other immigrants. It was beyond brutal and tough for both of them as they knew no English.

At that time, my elder brother was already born but my parents had to leave him with my grandma and aunts back in China because my parents did not have the capabilities or resources to bring him to the US. I was born here but was sent back to China for 6 years because my parents weren't able to look after me. I went to the preschool in Fuzhou, China and went back to the US when I was 6 to attend primary schools in Pittsburgh.

Q: Do you still remember your first day in school in Pittsburgh? What was it like after having suddenly landed in another country?

A: I did not remember clearly but I heard from my mom. At that time, my dad was a chef and my mom was a waitress in the same Chinese restaurant, working seven days a week and long hours. And we were living in the Chinese restaurant owner’s house. The first day in school I was so scared of people because I just came from China and thought they were unfamiliar. I was crying the entire time so the preschool teacher called my mom to pick me up.

That was during the rush hour in the Chinese restaurant and my parents were busy. But she had to come to the preschool. She said something along the lines of “Mom works so hard for you and you’re going to cry at preschool?!” And spanked me and yelled at me in the back of the restaurant when I was 7 years old and forced me to do a squat and raise my hand out while she slapped it and I started peeing because I was so scared. And she went back to taking care of her customers while I just squatted in the back of the restaurant.

Q: Could you describe the school demographics in your community?

A: Super white. White people are everywhere. Pittsburgh is not that racially diverse. The Asian population was really small. I always felt like an outsider when I was a kid. On average, 75% of my classmates are white, perhaps 10% are Asian, and around 15% are Hispanic, African Americans along with other minorities.

Q: How did the Caucasian children at school treat you?

A: Basically, in middle and high school, lots of white students would call me derogatory names like chink, yellow trash, etc., because I was Chinese. They would taunt me, saying that I ate cats and dogs and made me feel guilty and horrible for being Chinese.

Q: So you chose to make friends with Asian classmates?

A: No. I only had one Chinese friend, and that was in high school. Most of my friends were white by default just because of the sample size there. Also, growing up in a Chinese household within a white community, you wanted to be with people who weren’t like you because you thought that’s cool or there was some type of validation there. So, I didn’t have many Asian friends back in middle and high school.

Q: What was taught in the curriculum? Were you exposed to the culture of other ethnic groups in school?

A: No. Our curriculum was pretty US-centric and the classes we took were not eye-opening about the world around us. It only celebrated white saviors of the country. Looking back, I now realize that some of the so-called heroes have murdered so many indigenous people.

Also, I didn’t have the opportunity to take any Chinese language courses. It was just not offered. Only in my AP US History class was I first exposed to Chinese American history, e.g. the Chinese Exclusion Act. But I did not learn anything about contemporary Chinese history. I would say the cultural exposure is very limited. It was not until college that I started to make meaningful efforts to learn other people’s culture. Definitely, in high school and middle school, I did not do a good job at that.

Q: How did your peers perceive your Chinese identity in school?

A: I remember once when they were talking about the Chinese Exclusion Act in my AP US History class, the teacher asked how that made people feel to discriminate a whole subset of people, then all my classmates were looking at me just because I was the only Chinese student in the classroom. I was not even born at that time so of course, I didn’t know the feeling. Usually, my Chinese identity did not bother me unless there was a negative connotation.

Q: I am curious, how did you make the transition? You were taught in English in school but were speaking Mandarin in your home?

A: It’s something I struggle with until this day. It’s really about being able to communicate fully my emotions in Chinese to my parents. First, there are cultural disparities. And second, when I was a kid, my parents were always working for survival. They never really had interactions with me. Now, I understand they had different priorities, but back then growing up as a kid I was frustrated.

English was so much easier for me just because I was taught formally in school. But I always had a hard time speaking Chinese because my Chinese was taught by my parents and they don’t speak English. They would ask me: “Did you eat yet? Did you do your homework yet?”

They were all very basic conversations. Even today I have a hard time talking to them about my career, my major in college, etc.. I do not tell them and they do not know too much about me. They only understand it when relatives or other friends tell them. There is always some emotional connection that I want to have with them cause they have been through so much in life more than normal people should experience and I really want to articulate my feelings to them but I just can’t. I can only say I love you or use emoji (like an adult babe).

Also, when I was a kid, my feelings were not part of the equation. There was always something more important. For example, I was translating for my parents all the time or talked to a police officer for them. They never asked me how many friends I made or how my school day was.

Q: Did your parents ever regret immigrating to the US?

A: This is a very somber question. Every time they tried to talk about it, they would always end up crying, causing me to cry as well. I don’t think they regret immigrating to the United States because they knew it was the right choice for the family--for themselves and also for the opportunities for future generations meaning me and my brother and our families.

But I do think they experienced a lot of pain that they didn't expect in this journey to come to America, including the pain of being away from their parents. I used to be hard on them because they did not give me a childhood that my peers had in their families. But I can understand that now. They came to the country without language, money, connections, and friends. They carry a lot of trauma in their minds and bodies. It’s very sad because when we always talk about immigration as a whole but the actual feeling and the actual suffering for every family are just a lot more than what words can capture.

Q: Do you feel that you are carrying the burden of their dreams?

A: Of course. The burden used to come every single day. Carrying their dreams was very tough in the last two years of high school and throughout college. I had to be great. Since I met their expectations already, I don’t carry the burden of my parents’ journey to the US anymore, but I do think I carry the burden of other peoples’ specifically Asian immigrants’ journey to America because there is a lot of stigma and negative perception. I represent more than just me.

I became very social and inclusive. I want to show that Asian Americans are not always nerds so other people don't just assume we are introverted. Data shows that less than 5% of corporate America CEOs are Asian Americans. These are perception issues. They don't get to know us. So the underlying burden I am putting on myself is that I try to become a light to other Asian Americans. My parents want me to have a better future and I want other people to have a better future.

Q: What is the relationship between you and your brother?

A: You are opening a can of worms now. He came to the US when he was 17. It has always been really difficult for him and me to have a good relationship. He grew up in China and thought this family abandoned him. We are never on the same page. Everyone was positively talking about me in front of him. But at the end of the day, we are still brothers. We would die for each other and I would donate my organs to him.

—

Xintong (Olivia) Wu is a second-year MIA-IFEP-TMAC student. She’s from Jinan City, Shandong Province, China. She’s passionate about writing people’s stories and truly believes everyone is unique and gifted in some ways. She feels proud of the community and plans to write a series of SIPA peers’ stories. Her favorite part about SIPA is diversity—students from different countries, cultures, professions.